We managed to celebrate Luna’s first birthday as a family. Owen didn’t wake up from the 22nd and then died on the 27th. He had just turned 40.

 

The whole thing was awful. We expected each new day to be the last. At this time of year, especially for our family with Luna’s birthday, it should be a time of celebration, fun and laughter surrounded by everyone you love, yet we were dealing with every family’s worst nightmare.

 

But Myton made everything a little bit more manageable. They were amazing, reassuring me that they were here for me and Luna as much as they were for Owen.

 

Due to Covid families couldn’t stay in the relatives accommodation, but they allowed me to use it as a base for feeding Luna or taking her for naps during our visits. Having that space to care for my child whilst still being so near to Owen was invaluable.

 

They also allowed friends and family to be with me as well to help with Luna. It meant so much to me that I could be present with Owen when he was awake and not be preoccupied with sorting Luna.

 

Even the little things, like bringing our dog to see Owen, meant the world to us. Our cocker spaniel, Bodhi, visiting was so lovely for us all.

 

Whilst we were at the hospice we were caught up with making the most of our final days with Owen that it didn’t really feel like Christmas but Myton did their best to remind us of the special time of year.

 

Myton’s Santa Sleigh was at the hospice one day so I took Luna to meet Santa Claus which was so lovely. Seeing her face light up at the sight of him was amazing. Looking back it was important to celebrate our last Christmas with Owen.

 

Having Myton’s support at the worst time of our lives was a blessing. If it wasn’t for Myton Owen would’ve been in hospital meaning we couldn’t have seen him. Myton gave us that time with him and I can’t repay them for that. We were able to be a family and I can’t put into words how important that is to me.

 

From the doctors to the nurses to the volunteers - everyone was amazing. They made sure Owen was comfortable and not in any pain. He deteriorated rather quickly so knowing he was comfortable reassured me. They really looked after us.

 

Christmas is meant to be the time for celebration but for us it will always be about remembering my husband and Luna’s dad.

 

That’s why I’m proud to be taking part in Light Up A Life again this year. Last years’ service was really special. It marks everything we went through and it’ll be really powerful to be back at Warwick Myton Hospice during the anniversary month; it adds to our connection.

 

Most importantly, it celebrates Owen’s life. I’m looking forward to the days when I can take Luna to Myton as she’s starting to ask questions about her dad and asking when he’s coming home. It’ll be nice to show her Myton when she’s ready and have her be part of the new Christmas tradition of leaving a tribute to Owen on Myton’s Christmas tree. Of course it’ll be hard, but it’ll also be comforting.

 

I know that we are not alone in our experiences and we won’t be the only family experiencing the loss of a loved one this Christmas. Light Up A Life for many is a poignant way to remember our friends and family at a time that is centred on those around us.

 

If you are able to make a donation you will be helping more people like Owen, Luna and myself to receive care and support at a time they need it the most, now and in the future.

 

Thank you.

Laura Murray

Wife, Mother and Myton Supporter.