The idea has come from myself and my family after we lost Susan Wolverson, our mum, grandmother and wife of my father in March 2017. Here is our story…
Mum was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer in November 2016...
It was a sudden, unexpected diagnosis after months of vague symptoms that never seemed to settle, which none of us ever imagined would finally be attributed to this silent, vicious disease. Unlike many, we were lucky in that we had 14 weeks to love, laugh and say all that we needed to say before she died. We had a wonderful last Christmas together that year, with significant deterioration in her condition only coming a month before she finally died.
During those last few weeks...
Mum was admitted to Warwick Myton Hospice for round-the-clock care. The care they gave her was consistently outstanding in every way. Nothing was too much trouble, either for her or for us as a family. She died on 5th March 2017. After days and hours of constant company, with every family member taking turns to sit with her, she finally died peacefully with Dad by her side – just as she would have wanted. The next day we went back to Myton to collect her belongings and start the painful journey of life without her. And this is where the idea for the boxes began.
As a nurse, I have had the great privilege many times in my career to give a patient their last few moments of care before they die, and then afterwards to ensure they are treated with the privacy and dignity they deserve.
It’s the last thing you can do for them and their families. When it comes to handing back precious belongings however, plastic carrier bags are widely used across the health service – I have used them myself many times. But there is no dignity in a carrier bag, either for the relatives or the staff who you have spent so many intense days and hours with.
When Mum’s belongings were returned to us in carrier bags...
the stark contrast of entering the hospice with her then leaving without her with only a visual representation of who she was in plastic bags was beyond heartbreaking. Two years later, on the anniversary of her death, my family and I came up with the idea of replacing the plastic bags with beautiful cardboard boxes. Boxes of all sizes which could be stored flat then assembled when needed to accommodate a patients’ belongings, packed with care and dignity and with the patient’s own name on the box.
The primary aims were to...
make the collection process better for the families that are left behind, to treat the belongings of their loved one with respect and dignity, but the aim is to help the staff too; to give them the closure and peace they need through this final act of kindness and professionalism which epitomises their work every day. The boxes also go some way to contributing to the reduction of plastic waste and protecting our beautiful planet – something that was important to Mum since she believed, as we all do as a family, this beautiful planet is a God-given gift which must be cherished and protected.
The early days of grief and loss can be very dark and lonely but they can be eased with kindness and compassion, with empathy and understanding.
It is our hope as a family that through this small idea, those that have been so loved but sadly lost will continue to be treasured and treated with the dignity and respect they so richly deserve.
We would like to say a heartfelt thank you to Alix and her family not only for sharing their experience of Myton but also for approaching us with such a lovely idea. We hope families who are picking up the belongings of a loved one will find some solace in receiving these special boxes.
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