After a two to eight week prognosis with a stage 4 inoperable mouth cancer diagnosis, Barry Buckley, was admitted to Coventry Myton Hospice.
His beloved daughter, Charlotte, said:
It was a place for him to be safe, supported and cared for in the time he had left. From the moment we arrived, I knew how special this place was going to be for us all.
The cancer was growing at a large pace and due to its aggressive nature, it became fungating so had started to smell.
Charlotte added:
The team came up with so many alternative options for helping him, and us as his family, to cope with the smell.
They put a lovely diffuser in the room and gave dad massages to relax.
They saw the bigger picture and it gave dad so much dignity and peace.
Charlotte commented on the amazing support given by the teams at Myton, saying:
The wonderful nurses and doctors kept dad as comfortable as possible, along with the fantastic complementary therapy team.
The care he received, the love the nurses gave him and ultimately the respect they gave him was outstanding.
They let dad carry out every last wish he had and advocated for us as a family in every scenario.
They talked to me as a human, with kindness and compassion, and left no questions un-answered.
During Barry’s time at Myton, Charlotte and her family accessed the relative’s accommodation.
The relatives accommodation was made available, which was such a relief amongst the sadness that consumed me.
I stayed there for two nights, but in the final days, they put me up in a camp bed, held my hand and in those darkest hours, supported me.
They are a truly wonderful team at the hospice and they deserve all the credit in the world. They made the worst time of my life that bit more manageable with their constant love and support.
This quote sums it up for me: ‘Good people do things for other people. That’s it.’
Charlotte visits Coventry Myton Hospice with her two children to see her dad’s In Memory plaque in the memory garden. She said:
I have been back to the hospice regularly since Dad passed. I feel at peace there.
All of the staff remember us. Truth be told, I don’t think they forget a soul that walks into the hospice. That’s how wonderful they are.
They all come and give me a hug and take the time to sit and chat with me, making me feel like I am home again. With my dad. It’s just a magical place.
Having a plaque in the memory garden is lovely. I often take my two children back there to see Grandad and watch the butterflies soaring high around his precious spirit.
In memory of her father, Charlotte has set herself a fundraising goal for Myton.
Charlotte explained:
Last month, I set up a JustGiving page to raise some funds for the Coventry hospice, specifically for the relative’s accommodation.
Based on my own experience, I know those flats provide a little bit of normality for the families going through end of life and the rooms ensure loved ones can get some rest.
I created this page to raise funds to support the improvement of the flats, enabling them to purchase mattress toppers, extra pillows, single duvet sets, and even self-care packages, like shampoo and body wash, to help those staying in the flats.
Charlotte and her friends have even created their own hampers including toiletries and cleaning essentials for loved ones staying in the relatives accommodation.
Take a look at her JustGiving page to support her fundraising here
Charlotte credited her selfless giving to her father, saying:
My dad was a charitable man, and during this time of sadness I wanted to try and help the next family supporting their loved ones through end of life.
I look forward to seeing how this will help them in their time of need.
However, her fundraising ambition doesn’t stop there. Charlotte has created a new fundraising initiative to support patients and their families this Christmas, called ‘Christmas Care Boxes’.
Charlotte said:
There will be a number of patients and their families spending Christmas at Coventry Myton Hospice this year, and sadly, this may be their last Christmas together.
How beautiful would it be for the families to open something and create some beautiful memories to cherish when they are gone.
Charlotte hopes for each room at Coventry Myton Hospice to be given a box full of goodies this Christmas Day, including treats such as a Christmas card, biscuits or sweets, a cracker, a small gift to enjoy as a family, snuggle socks, a Christmas decoration and a wooden etched butterfly that will read ‘Always with you 2023’.
I know myself just how precious the time is with a loved one in the hospice, and in creating these care packages, we can give these families a little bit of extra special normality on Christmas Day.
I am also acutely aware that not everyone will have a ‘Charlotte’ to support them on their final journey.
Some may not have much family to visit them during the festive season, some families might be a lot older, and some may not have the time or headspace to sort something out for the big day.
Paying kindness forward is extra special at this time of year.
A lot of people associate hospices with great sadness, but I for one know, that with great sadness there is also a beautiful sense of happiness.
I’m really looking forward to giving these boxes to Coventry Myton Hospice in December, and keeping the connection with my dad as strong as ever, in his loving memory.
We'd like to say a big thank you to Charlotte and her friends for their amazingly thoughtful support this Christmas!
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