Dying Matters Awareness Week encourages people across the UK to talk about death and dying in a way that feels natural to them. By opening up these conversations, we can help break down the stigma and taboo that too often surrounds death.
This year’s theme – ‘Let’s talk about death and dying’ – invites us all to have honest conversations about what a good end of life looks like, what matters most to us, and how care should reflect individual wishes and needs.
For many people, knowing how or where to start these conversations can feel difficult. Yet talking about death and dying can help people feel more prepared, supported and in control. It can also bring comfort to families and loved ones, ensuring they understand what matters most and can support those wishes when the time comes.
At The Myton Hospices, we support patients and families every day to have these conversations in a safe, compassionate and supportive environment. Our teams understand that these discussions are not always easy, but they can be some of the most important and meaningful conversations people will ever have.
Whether someone is living with a life-limiting illness, caring for a loved one, or simply thinking ahead, there is no single “right time” to start talking. Often, small, gentle conversations are the best place to start.
To help, we’ve asked members of our team to share their top tips on how to have these conversations.
Liz Gregson, Counsellor at The Myton Hospices:
There are a few quotes from various people that always stick out to me: talking about death helps us feel lighter and life to have meaning, as well as the Maya Angelou quote: people may forget what you said but they will never forget how you made them feel.
Ellie Clack, Spiritual Care Lead and Chaplain at The Myton Hospices, said:
Our society often shies away from talking about death and dying, and we all have different barriers and boundaries that can be hard to cross when thinking about our own mortality. Normalising talk of death and dying, and looking at practicalities around it can be so releasing for many people.
When sensitively and meaningfully held at the right time for someone, addressing the pragmatic side of death such as the arrangements that can be made, can give many people a sense of control and agency which may have been eroded during an illness or period of ill health.
Kristina Gray, Adult & Children’s Counsellor at The Myton Hospices, said:
There is often a great deal of fear around broaching the subject of death and dying. lot of fear in broaching the subject of death and dying. Counselling plays an important role in giving people the space to talk openly about their fears and begin to unburden them. It helps to normalise these feelings, while creating a safe environment for curiosity and for asking questions that may not always feel acceptable in wider society.
Whether it’s an adult wanting to discuss their funeral wishes, or a child exploring their fears about a hospice environment through play, counselling provides a space where individuals can feel heard, supported, and held through some of life’s most challenging moments.
Parmjit Sandhu, Spiritual Care Practitioner and Chaplain at The Myton Hospices, said:
As a chaplain, I have the privilege of speaking with many people about their thoughts, wishes and feelings, often focusing on death and dying. I know that starting these conversations can feel daunting, so I often begin gently with a simple question: I understand this isn’t always an easy topic to talk about, but in your experience, how do you feel about discussing death and dying?
Sarah Guy, Counselling and Family Services Lead, said:
When talking with children about death and dying, it can help to use gentle, everyday moments as natural opportunities for conversation. For many children, their first experience of death may be through the loss of a family pet. Taking time to acknowledge this loss, talk openly about what has happened, and create space to remember and say goodbye can be more supportive than avoiding the subject in an attempt to protect their feelings. Death is a natural part of life, and while it can feel difficult, honest and age-appropriate conversations can help children to understand and process their grief.
Similarly, conversations with adults can feel challenging, but sometimes they arise more naturally than we expect. A storyline in a soap opera, for example, can provide a gentle opening to talk about thoughts, feelings, and wishes around end of life. These conversations, while not always easy, can be an important part of supporting understanding and openness around death and dying.
At The Myton Hospices, we see every day the difference it makes when people feel able to talk openly about death and dying. It can bring reassurance, clarity, and a sense of peace at a time when it is needed most.
We also know that many people still miss out on these conversations, which is why Dying Matters Awareness Week is so important. It helps to normalise talking about death and dying and encourages more people to feel confident starting these discussions.
We believe that everyone should have the opportunity to talk about what matters most to them, and to have their wishes understood and respected.
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