The Myton Hospices - People's Stories

The Myton Hospices supported Harbhajan Singh Kandola and his family during his final weeks, helping him stay at home and honour his wish not to go to hospital.

Harbhajan was diagnosed with heart failure in 2024. Later that year, his family were told there was nothing more doctors could do. By January 2025, his condition had started to deteriorate and his daughter, Jeeta, became his main carer. She said:

In January 2025, dad visited the Gurdwara with my mum and aunty, but as he stepped outside and started to walk towards his car, a gust of wind nearly blew him off his feet. Fortunately, his nephew Harpal was nearby and ran to help him, but the shock had a huge impact on his wellbeing.

We went to the doctors, and upon seeing him, that was when the GP acknowledged just how poorly dad actually was. Knowing where this was likely headed, the GP explained and discussed the arrangement of a ReSPECT form with dad and myself. At that point, dad made me promise him I wouldn’t send him to hospital. Telling him it was a big ask and I couldn’t be confident I could keep that promise, I made sure I would do my utmost to try and fulfil his wish. Deep down, I was dreading it because I knew there wasn’t much I could do if he became really unwell.

The Myton Hospices - Patient Stories - Harbhajan's Story

Jeeta reached out to the heart failure community nurses for support, only to be told Harbhajan had been signed off from their service.

It was really frustrating to be told that the main team who could help couldn’t actually help anymore because he had been signed off from their system.

With nowhere else to turn, Jeeta contacted Myton to find out what support might be available.

The lady on the phone was so helpful. She explained how Myton could help with end of life care. We talked everything through and she advised us to go to the GP and ask for a referral into Myton’s Patient & Carer Wellbeing Service, so that’s what we did.

Initially, the GP felt it was too soon for Harbhajan to be referred to the hospice and instead arranged support from the District Nurses. But after assessing him, they agreed Myton’s support was needed sooner rather than later and made the referral.

The District Nurses understood where we were coming from. They agreed it was better to have a plan of action, and Myton’s help engaged now rather than waiting until further down the line. Once we were referred, the Myton at Home team rang, explaining how their service worked, and from there they called every day to check in and see what they could do to help.

By the end of May 2025, Harbhajan’s condition worsened and he was unable to walk, except for a few steps at a time. Soon after that, Myton at Home services were engaged.

The Myton at Home team began visiting Harbhajan daily, supporting not only him, but the whole family.

The nurses took the time to talk to dad, but also to mum and all of us, going out of their way to make sure mum was looked after, ensuring she was okay. It was such a comfort to have that extra support. They knew exactly what they were doing. Having that reassurance, and seeing dad so comfortable – especially as an older Asian man who valued his dignity – was so lovely to see. It gave us all peace of mind he was being looked after by the best, and most caring, specialist team in the business.

On 19^th June, Harbhajan and Mohinder’s 67th wedding anniversary, the family were told he did not have long left. The immediate family were informed, and the Myton at Home nurses, along with the District Nurses, increased their visits, guiding the family through what to expect.

During the day of the 21^st June, something amazing happened. He started acknowledging the family who came to see him. He’d stopped doing that as he got more poorly, but suddenly he was lifting his hand to say ‘thank you for visiting’, a gesture we had got used to him doing, and at one point, he opened his eyes as all his nieces and nephews were leaving. It was like it was his final goodbye. It was totally surreal and so lovely to see. It was an honour and privilege to have witnessed it.

Leading up to dad’s final day, I was holding his hand and was telling him how hard it was to see him like this. He opened his eyes and said ‘Yes Jeeta, it’s time’. It was astonishing because he hadn’t spoken much for days. I will cherish that moment for the rest of my life.

Harbhajan died on 22^nd June 2025, aged 85, surrounded by his family. The night nurse was on duty, keeping everyone calm and advised the family on next steps.

Reflecting on the care they received, Jeeta said:

We were so lucky with everyone we met. The Myton at Home nurses were incredible. Nothing was ever a problem, or too much, and they made our lives so much easier during such a difficult time. We were able to give dad the respectful death he wanted. And most importantly, in his beloved home, the one he had worked so hard to establish as a family home.”

There’s no way we could have honoured dad’s final wish of staying out of hospital without Myton at Home. We’d always known about Myton and the work they do, but we didn’t realise to what extent their care expanded into the community and the lengths they go to, to ensure the person who is at end of life, and their family, is so well supported through one of the toughest times in their lives. It would never have occurred to me to ask for hospice care at home.

They were experts, and we trusted them completely. They guided us through everything, recognising dad’s patterns, his highs and lows, and preparing us for what was to come.

They were so respectful. They always explained to dad what they were going to do, and if he was OK with it. If dad became agitated, they would stop and slow down, going at his pace. Nothing was ever too much trouble and they were always there at the end of the phone.

Looking back, we realised they gave us so much more than just medical care. At the time we were on autopilot, but they made sure we had space to breathe and process everything. They became our emotional support, our right-hand women. We could never have done it without them.

Following dad’s death we were advised of the counselling services available should anyone in the immediate family require them, either at that point or in the future, and to date, this support has continued.

As people, one cannot know the fear of the unknown for the person who is dying. The expertise of the Myton nurses made that journey easier, especially for dad and that meant everything to us. They made sure we all remained calm, and there was nothing to fear. Dad had his “angels”, as we called them. They were by his side the whole time, giving him peace, courage and the strength he needed to depart this world when he was ready.

In Harbhajan’s memory, the family created a MuchLoved page and have so far raised £4,412,50 for Myton.

View Harbhajan's MuchLoved page here

Dad would have been so chuffed to know how many people have donated to Myton in his memory. It’s all we have left of our loved one. t’s only after something like this do you realise how much someone has touched people’s lives.

What he meant to them, and the huge void he has left behind. We were so lucky to have him for 85 years, and so many people in our community were impacted by him in some way.

He was a major front runner in the fund raising for the Gurdwara, being elected as one of the first Trustees. An elderly member of the community, whom I had never met, came to the house to pay his respects and said ‘If it hadn’t been for your father, the Gurdwara would not be standing as it is now, I will miss him dearly”. What an accolade. Another recently said ‘I really miss chatting with Uncleji, and listening to his wise words of wisdom.’ It was heart-warming to hear how valued dad was, and still is.

The amount we’ve raised is a testament to him, but also to Myton and the difference they make. You don’t realise how far Myton’s reach goes until you start talking about it.

For us, the Myton at Home team are unsung heroes that walked beside us every step of the way on an unknown, fearful and tearful journey. We can never thank them enough for all their support and care throughout, but especially in fulfilling dad’s final wish – to pass away in his own home.